I am totally and completely sick. I went to work yesterday morning and had to stand outside for 25 minutes in the freezing cold blowing wind waiting for the stupid dumb shuttle to pick me up and that just did me in. I only lasted until 3 (I was supposed to work until 8) and then I came home, got into bed and have been there ever since.

I did watch White Christmas (excellent) and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (also very good!). I didn't think I'd like Charlie much but I really, really enjoyed it. I thought everyone was great, especially Johnny Depp (he didn't creep me out like I thought he would) and I like Tim Burton movies so I really liked it. I liked Deep Roy as the Oompa Loompas, I liked how you really found out more about Willie Wonka than in the other movie, I liked how you saw all the other kids leaving the factory this time. In the first movie, I always wondered what had happened to everyone after they left the group.

So...I'm sick. In bed. I did get up around 4 and take a shower but went straight back to bed and I'm staying here. Sniff!

Thankgiving weekend was pretty fun, but I think I'm sick. I was only around about 60 people though all weekend with about 50% of the group being under 10, so it's not a surprise!

Thanksgiving was wonderful, everyone ate and ate and talked and laughed and had a good time. I hardly saw my boys, they were running around with their cousins all day. Friday we went to my brother in law's house for the day, one of my other BIL's made a movie of the family, it was really great. All kinds of stuff from the parents and all the 10 kids, really just brought a tear to your eye.

Today my husband and the boys went and bought the season's firewood, and we went and got our tree! Yes, it does seem early but it sure looks nice all decorated right now. The boys and I had a good time putting it up.

Tomorrow I have to work, yuck, twice as yucky since I'm sick. I just found out we might go to California for Christmas so I'm going to ask for about a week and a half off, I'm sure work will love that but oh well! That's how it goes.

I'm getting ready to read Eragon...the guy who wrote it is going to be here in two weeks for a special reading/book signing that our local independant bookstore "won" so I'm excited to go to that.

Watched Madagascar, it's cute. Lots of very funny little bits, all the way through it. Mostly things said under people's breath (animals, I mean) or in the background. I laughed hard outloud when King Julian was doing the robot and was saying "Does. Not. Compute." It just was funny!

I'm still trying to listen to that new Madonna cd but now that Christmas music is on, that's what I'm listening to now, especially the Charlie Brown Christmas cd, it's really, really wonderful.

A woman who posts on a public bulletin board I visit is sending a plane-load of dogs to the area that were displaced from Hurricane Katrina. The more I think about it, the worse of an idea for me it is having two young boys, a TINY chihuahua and a guinea pig, but at least I can put the word out to others, hopefully someone will find a perfect friend for them to be with during the holidays.

Today's song: White Christmas, the Bing Crosby version (of course!).

I just finished reading "Goodnight Nobody" by Jennifer Weiner. I think I must be on some kind of dissatisfied roll this week because I LOVE Jennifer Weiner. I think she's smart and funny and exactly the type of person I wish I was. Or had for my best friend. And it's a good idea for a book and has all kinds of good things - families, mysteries, old boyfriends...Uglydolls! (I have an Uglydoll - Trey, the pink one with three eyes, I love Trey!). But I don't love the book. I couldn't even finish it and I did something I NEVER EVER DO...I read about halfway through and skipped to the end to see "who dunnit". I feel bad. I returned it to the library three days early and just was done.

I think I need to shake myself out a bit, I'm in a funk or something. I'm not in a bad mood, but first the Madonna cd, now this. I really loved the Diana Gabaldon book, maybe that was my problem. I set myself up for not really liking the next thing I read. I don't know.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I'm really excited about seeing the 50+ people I'm going to see tomorrow. Stuff yourself on desserts for me, ok?? :-)

*****

I almost forgot the song for the day: "I think I'm in Love", by Eddie Money.

Confessions on a Dancefloor, by Madonna. A Review.

Well, I have to say that overall I am disappointed in this cd. The first song (Hung Up) is good, but why did it sound better on my computer speakers than in my car? That's not right. The mix of this song sounds bad.

One of my biggest dislikes about the cd is that there is too much talking over the beginning of each song. I hate songs where there's a lot of talking in the beginning...it just sounds dumb to me. Also, this is supposed to be a dance cd but it feels like it's stuck or something, too slow to actually be dancing to. It sounds like the bassline is missing on a lot of the tracks. It's not all bad, there are a few good songs (I like Sorry, but again - the talking, the talking!).

Another thing I don't like is that while the lyrics are autobiographical, Madonna should be much more advanced lyrically than she is. I understand that maybe she wanted to keep it simple so the focus would be on the groove and not getting too complicated with the story, but for the love of Pete, on one song she rhymes "dork" with "New York". Madonna! 50 slaps with a wet noodle for that one, even I cringed and I am the queen of cheesey pop.

Overall, I'm sorry I bought this. It wasn't worth my $9.99. I had high expectations, but unfortunately, I bought into the hype. Shame on me!!

*****

On another musical point, Directv switched their music channels from music choice to xm radio. I don't think I'm sold on this. They have a lot more channels, but it seems like a "lot more of the same sort of things", like instead of 2 "adult alternative channels", there's 12, but all with different names. Hmmm....I've been trying to come up with a Top 25 80's list all morning but seriously, I can't get past about 5 or 6 before I toss it out. Then they start playing a few good songs again, and I pull it back out, but I think I'm just going to toss it. Nothing musically good to say there, I think I'll just go listen to the Schoolhouse Rock cd I checked out from the library yesterday.

Today's thought for the day:

I'm going to try to remove "Don't!" from my vocabulary.

When my oldest son was little, it was so easy to be patient and allow him to learn things for himself. I never remember saying "don't" about anything to him (don't do that, don't go over there, etc.).

Now that we have two children, I really am noticing that I'm not allowing my second to do all the things my first had the time to do and I'm not allowing my first to do a lot anymore either. When did I become Don't Mom? I don't want to be like that.

My goal is to completely remove that word from our conversations. My goal is patience. My goal (haha) is less caffeine. ;-)

*****

Ok, I'm amending this to say I will say don't when I see them chasing after each other in the yard with a piece of dog poop on a stick. THAT is a don't.

I love music, it's obvious. I love all types of music, pretty much any decade, any style. There's really no rhyme or reason to what I like, I'm a jukebox of tastes.

I was listening to (of course) the 70's statio this morning on tv (go, Directv!) and Barry Manilow's "Trying to Get the Feeling" came on and a thought occurred to me: Since I've been a music fan as long as I can remember, How much of what I think or feel has been influenced by what I've heard?

I remember the first time I realized that music was stories and thoughts and not just music. It happened to be a Barry Manilow song - Mandy was on the radio, and I was probably about 6 or 7 and I remember sitting in the back seat of the car crying because he was so sad. I remember it just became so real to me all of a sudden. It's funny, because most of my memories from my entire life usually also include some type of music with them.

Sitting at the beach eating egg salad sandwiches, listening to My Cherie Amour by Stevie Wonder. Driving to visit my best childhood friend with my dad when I was older, listening to Don't Bring Me Down by ELO. Driving around in the town I grew up in looking at Christmas lights, listening to the Christmas Song by Nat King Cole. When I first bought my first car all by myself, driving it away from the car lot listening to Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkel. Dancing at a party to the Clash with my best friend Donna when were still teenagers. Listening to Madonna (Lucky Star) and ratting my hair 8 feet high and putting pink streaks in it before I was going out one night. Kate Bush at a party in Newport Beach (not literally, of course). Listening to Night Ranger up at my friend's cabin in Lake Arrowhead when we all went for a huge group weekend, and thinking "Hey, I think I like him!" Playing The Legend of Zelda (for the 9400th time) with my boyfriend, listening to the first Seal cd and to Talk Talk's It's My Life. Losing my shoe at a Nine Inch Nails concert. Waiting to get in at the Arizona State Fair to see Nirvana and riding on the skycruiser (disappointed) because I coudln't get it. Completely random but all with music. Sometimes I think I only have that memory because I remember the music. It's like they're all just trivia facts in a jumble.

I'd hate to be deaf, though I do think that I would have enough music in my head to keep me company for the rest of my life.

Anyway, back to my original thought...I just wondered if what I felt was influenced (subconsciously of course) by what I heard. I mean, I've always kind of felt that if you're not in love with someone anymore, that's it. You're done. But what if that's just because Barry Manilow told me that sometime? What if I've cut off on the working at it part because I just thought that's how it was. I mean, I truly DO believe that...but am I getting my ideas from someone else or are they my ideas?

At least I feel like I'm listening to good ideas...I'd hate to think I was basing all my thoughts on music from say, the 1990's or this decade, because frankly most of it sucks. I am only 39 (a baby!) but I can't say that much new music even appeals to me anymore. I don't think it has the "work ethic" if you will, that many old things had. Though I enjoy mindless music as much as the next person, I prefer it to be older mindless music.

I guess that's just my deal.

I've Got the Urge!

I was driving down the street today and I saw a group of people standing in front of a building, preparing to have their picture taken. I caught myself mid-lunge...for the horn! I stopped myself before I hit it, but as I passed (and heard someone else, driving the other way, honking at them) I realized it's not the first time I've done that. I am a honker. I love to honk at people when I see them outside getting their picture taken. I have done it before, and I know even though I stopped today, I'll do it again.

There they all are, sitting nicely, squinting in the sun as they wait for the camera to capture them for eternity, and some numbskull drives by and honks. All the careful combing and fluffing and ironing of the clothes...for nothing, because now you've got that look you get when old Aunt Cecilia corners you by the buffet table and you know you've got a good hour and a half of listening to her talk about her health and medical ailments and what in the name of all that is good is wrong with her dog...it shouldn't be smelling like THAT should it?? Yes, that look. That's the one.

Next time you're outside and someone drives by and honks at you, I'm sorry if I've ruined your photo. Like I said, I just can't help myself. I like to think of it as maybe "breaking the ice" a little bit, yeah, that's it. A little group hug to say "Hey! Good luck with that picture!"

Cheese!

Things I'm happy about for today.

1. I finished A Breath of Snow and Ashes, I loved it!! It was really good, probably my favorite out of all the Outlander Series (and I really loved the first one!).
2. I didn't have to go to jury duty today, I called and they didn't need me, yay!
3. Tomorrow Seven has no school so it's a long weekend, another yay!
4. I bought White Christmas on DVD at Target, it's one of my favorite movies of all time (I ALWAYS cry right at the end when they're singing and the curtains open up and VOILA, snow!). It was also on sale, which is good.
5. I got some new makeup, the eyeshadow is the perfect color. The lip stuff is Burt's Bees, also the perfect color. I'm not a huge makeup wearer but I know this time I got it all right, amazing!
6. My hair looks good for once, though only Three and the dog are looking at it right now.
7. I got a new book at the library, GOODNIGHT NOBODY by Jennifer Weiner, I'm looking forward to reading it.
8. My dad made me a cd, though I haven't gotten it yet, but I'm excited about that.
9. It's actually cold in the house right now. Ok, it's 74, but I'm wearing a tshirt and sweats and no socks and am cold.
10. I didn't wake up with my everpresent sinus headache today, the first time in about two weeks that has happened. I kind of feel it coming on, but at least I didn't wake up with it.

Song of the day: From the Beginning, by ELP.

I've got to get off of the 70's channel on the tv!

And I'm STILL reading A Breath of Snow and Ashes. It's good, so, even though I have 300 pages left to read and it's due today, I'm keeping it so I can finish it.

My seven year old lost his first front tooth last night!!

What a milestone, we are so excited. My son lost two teeth last February, both on the bottom in the front. This is the first top front tooth to be gone, and we're celebrating!

I remember when I was little, whenever I would have a loose tooth. I'd poke, pull and twist at that baby, trying to get it out. My tongue would be sore from feeling if it was ready to come out. Until it actually was ready to come out, then I'd be terrified that it would hurt and I'd leave it hanging by a tiny thread. I never wanted to tell my dad, we watched too many Three Stooges shows together. I'd be afraid he'd get the string (for the ol' tie the string to the doorknob and slam the door trick) or the pliers or something. No sirree, not for me!

It's cool to feel the new tooth coming in the soft smooth empty space where your tooth has been for your whole life. Even the little metallic taste of blood, just there for a brief minute, kind of cool. It's a little rite of passage.

I held my boy's tooth last night and thought "this little thing has chewed all of his food for the last 6 years of his life!" Weird!

I was sad when my boy lost his first tooth, it was a real "growing up" point. This one I'm not sad about. This one is a big deal, and I'm excited and so is he. He won't put his teeth under his pillow though, he says "I know you're the tooth fairy, Momma, so I just want to keep them so I can show people!"

This morning he asked me if there really was a tooth fairy, I said of course there was (it's me!). My husband laughed and said "Don't you see mom's little wings? She looks like Sebulba from Star Wars Episode I!"

Now, actually, it's Watto that had the tiny wings (the junk shop guy that "owned" Anakin's slave contract) but that's ok, we all know who he's talking about. Though I would like to think I am a little bit better looking than Watto.

I've got to go collect my money, this little bugger gets two Sakajawea dollars instead of the normal one dollar. This tooth is special.

Smile!